Man Down

This week started with a bang. Stella and Zoe start school on Wednesday and I begin another week of intensive black belt training at West Coast. It’s serious now. We are on Life skills #8, and 6 weeks away from the test. I was excited to start this week and get a lot done. With the girls in school, I can spend most of my days training and getting ready. I saw “was excited” because the excrement hit the fan when I checked the messages.

My half-sister called. My Dad is septic and going in for emergency surgery to clean out a belly full of C. Diff. He’s had pneumonia for the past 3 weeks, on antibiotics and in misery. I’m not exactly sure what the heck is going on because both Amanda and Christine (stepmom) tend to be poor historians. However, it sounds bad. So, Marek got me a flight and within 45 minutes we were on the road to the airport. I am taking the red-eye to Miami out of LAX.

Not sure if I will make it in time. Sepsis is awful and my dad is not a healthy person. He has abused his body all his life, on purpose, despite that which others tell him. He’s completely opposed to any lifestyle changes and chooses poor diet, smoking, alcoholism and general meanness to make his point. We have been estranged for a number of years, so I am not sure what to think about all of this. Not sure if I will buckle when I see him or be filled with anger and resentment. This is unusual territory. I hope he makes it long enough for me to get there. I am skeptical that he will survive the surgery. It’s so surreal after being at my father-in-law’s funeral last Saturday.

And then there are Christine and Amanda. Not sure how that will play out either. My sister accused me of stealing money from her years ago and I excused myself from any involvement with her. She has since had three kids and has kept busy enough to keep out of my life. I have gratefully done the same. Now, we will be thrust together in a stressful environment with big decisions to make. I am not looking forward to this AT ALL. However, it is the right thing to do for me to show up and show respect. It will either be the last chapter of this book or a new chapter. However, no matter what, it will mean change.

Luckily, I ran 2 miles early this morning. I packed in half an hour and readied Marek and the kids for a week of my absence with all kinds of big events planned. I know they will be fine. They are well-grounded, loved and supported by one another, and a loving community. I will be alone in the middle of South Florida in a hostile environment, possibly watching my Dad die. Trying to see the bright side of this one but so far…. I got nothing.