Big day.
I cannot believe our girls did not beat Chico. Seriously? I can give a hundred reasons why we did not win this game but this is not the forum. Instead, we tied 1-1. One thing I cannot stand is when we play a less-skilled team and we bring our level of play down to meet it. Ugh. We played them our first game. So, because of the points, we ended up playing them in a Championship round. Again, we tied 0-0. Silliness really. The tournament must have a winner though, so of course, we went to PK's. We missed 4 of 6 and lost the game. I hate penalty kicks in this age group. It's too much pressure and parents are so hard on their little ones when they don't make it. There were a lot of tears and as a coach, I had to pull out my best uplifting speech ever. It was a heartbreaker, magnified by the extreme heat, plus complete physical exhaustion, and no amount of sugar was going to remedy the fallout. Live to fight another day.
I went home and kicked the bag, packed as many bathing suits and wetsuits as I could fit and Team Robinson jumped in the car and headed south. We just got here, Leucadia, CA and it's late, so I'm not going to write much more. My best friend is having her hip replaced in LA in the morning so it's back in the car for me on a Monday morning in Los Angeles. Yeah, that's gonna be fun. I have 4 hours to sleep. Mental toughness training is in full swing. I didn't even get to cheat today. In fact, I hardly ate at all. That's not good.
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Still Hurting
Soccer. Soccer, and more Soccer. In the middle of going for my black belt, I am also coaching a U10 girls soccer team. I'm an assistant coach and mostly just do technical work, speed and agility training but it's a part-time job on top of being a mother of two, a wife of a traveling husband, Pool service, housekeeping, laundry, and friend to a handful of people fighting cancer. Yeah, I'm busy. We had Independence Cup today. We won both of our games which sets us up nicely for a championship round. The girls played well in 112 degree heat. Oy. Amazing how hot temperatures increase irritability on sidelines which irritates the referees, which irritates the players, which irritates the coaches and the circle goes round and round. My kingdom for a firehose....Took today off from training after two-a-days all week. I pulled a muscle in my right thigh right before my belt test yesterday. Today, I went to kick a ball and the thing tightened right back up. I have a very painful charlie horse and am ice massaging and stretching best I can. No wall kicks with ankle weights for awhile. I hope this isn't one of those injuries that lingers for very long. I haven't got much time and I need to be jumping and kicking. Tomorrow we head to San Diego. Looking forward to some beach time. I hope this leg thing doesn't impact my surfing schedule! HA!
Friday, June 28, 2013
Belt Testing
Belt Testing. My original plan was to test every month from now until November to overcome my test anxiety and get used to KJN yelling in my ear or giving me that "are you sure that's what you want to do for this?" look that pretty much implies I'm doing it all wrong. If there is anything I have learned in life, it is commit to your answer. Dead wrong or Right on, one looks far more confident committing to one or the other rather than sitting there unsure and looking like a complete idiot. "Duh, I dunno," just does not reflect black belt excellence to me, and yet, KJN seems to elicit that very response. Do I know? Yes. I've practiced and studied and can do half this shit in my sleep but the fact that I want to do well for the people who have carried me this far makes me question myself.
Last month, I tested with Andee and we rocked it. Our floor grappeling was solid and we were going all out. We flowed better, and we were confident. This month, not so much. I think both of us wanted to prove that we are BOTH ready for this and that we know the material. However, KJN seemed like he was trying to trip us up. I understand that he's not interested in what we know as much as he wants to nail down what we don't know and how much work is it going to take to get us ready for September. I get it. However, there's a psychology that goes with that objective. I don't want to give him a morsel to chew on. I don't want him to find one darn thing to criticize. Therefore, I aim for perfection and I pull back. I perform conservatively, and thereby do not represent myself appropriately. I have to shed that mindset which I think will be easier once he says yay or nay, yay being the preferred option. Then, I will feel like he's on my side. For now, I feel like he is my enemy, wanting to trip me up and point out my weakness. There is value in this, but as my lead instructor, my mentor, my Kwan Jang Nim, this messes with my head. I don't feel safe. I don't feel like I can really let my beast flag fly because no matter what, he's going to pick it apart. For example, during Palgae 7, I was using my breathing to help me keep a rhythm. He mocked me during my form. Not sure if he was trying to distract me, break me down or trying to elicit a response, but it threw me. I finished my form but it certainly was not my best performance. There were other things during the test that did not go well. I look at testing as a way to shine. It's a way to show our master instructors how hard we work and the technique we've been taught. It's a way for me to check off certain things so I can focus more intently on others. I didn't get that on this last test. Obviously, I'm not in Kansas anymore, and I trust that KJN Gary will get me ready for the big day. I am hoping this last test was not simply a test of curriculum, but a test of how we perform with criticisms and dismissals. Honestly, KJN Gary can teach a monkey the curriculum but if your head isn't in it, then he's just wasting his time. I don't want to waste his time. I guess it is his job to try and get in my head and it's my job to not let him. I have two months to get this curriculum embedded in my brain and body. The more I know it, the more confident I will be. At that point, I need to not care so much about what my KJN thinks and more about how to execute a top performance. One thing ski racing has taught me that no matter how much I train, how much my coaches pick me apart, or how much my trainers try to break me down, it is ultimately me that steps over the start wand and makes shit happen. Black Belt training is not much different. I just have to get better at it first.
San Diego will provide a nice break. Tough Mudder is right around the corner and will be a great training tool. Then, it's game time.
Last month, I tested with Andee and we rocked it. Our floor grappeling was solid and we were going all out. We flowed better, and we were confident. This month, not so much. I think both of us wanted to prove that we are BOTH ready for this and that we know the material. However, KJN seemed like he was trying to trip us up. I understand that he's not interested in what we know as much as he wants to nail down what we don't know and how much work is it going to take to get us ready for September. I get it. However, there's a psychology that goes with that objective. I don't want to give him a morsel to chew on. I don't want him to find one darn thing to criticize. Therefore, I aim for perfection and I pull back. I perform conservatively, and thereby do not represent myself appropriately. I have to shed that mindset which I think will be easier once he says yay or nay, yay being the preferred option. Then, I will feel like he's on my side. For now, I feel like he is my enemy, wanting to trip me up and point out my weakness. There is value in this, but as my lead instructor, my mentor, my Kwan Jang Nim, this messes with my head. I don't feel safe. I don't feel like I can really let my beast flag fly because no matter what, he's going to pick it apart. For example, during Palgae 7, I was using my breathing to help me keep a rhythm. He mocked me during my form. Not sure if he was trying to distract me, break me down or trying to elicit a response, but it threw me. I finished my form but it certainly was not my best performance. There were other things during the test that did not go well. I look at testing as a way to shine. It's a way to show our master instructors how hard we work and the technique we've been taught. It's a way for me to check off certain things so I can focus more intently on others. I didn't get that on this last test. Obviously, I'm not in Kansas anymore, and I trust that KJN Gary will get me ready for the big day. I am hoping this last test was not simply a test of curriculum, but a test of how we perform with criticisms and dismissals. Honestly, KJN Gary can teach a monkey the curriculum but if your head isn't in it, then he's just wasting his time. I don't want to waste his time. I guess it is his job to try and get in my head and it's my job to not let him. I have two months to get this curriculum embedded in my brain and body. The more I know it, the more confident I will be. At that point, I need to not care so much about what my KJN thinks and more about how to execute a top performance. One thing ski racing has taught me that no matter how much I train, how much my coaches pick me apart, or how much my trainers try to break me down, it is ultimately me that steps over the start wand and makes shit happen. Black Belt training is not much different. I just have to get better at it first.
San Diego will provide a nice break. Tough Mudder is right around the corner and will be a great training tool. Then, it's game time.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Pre-Test Charlie Horse
Tomorrow is testing day. Went to KB at 8am this morning. We worked on combinations. I pulled off a couple of tornado kicks which was kinda cool but my legs are toast. I got a huge charlie horse in my right leg and ended up having to stretch most of the time. I just love to kick that bag..... We did 10 pull-ups, 30 push-ups, 30 sit-ups and ten triangle push-ups. Never a dull moment.
I ran around ALL DAY. I farmed the kids out to playdates and went back to meet Andee in the gym at 1030 where we worked another hour on Stick disarms 1-6, Palgae 7, Triangle Leg Choke (my least favorite), Pommeling and the arm stuff that goes with it. Pretty successful morning really. The evening class consisted of the Jiu-jitsu techniques (wha?) arm bar, guillotine and triangle leg choke. Plus the defenses. Oy.
I engaged a masseuse to help me with my charlie horse problem. It's better, but still tight. Great for testing tomorrow.....Looking forward to an MMA free weekend. Until then, I am hitting the DVD and my card pretty hard. I will definitely need to dig into some synthetic energy source for tomorrow. Better living through chemistry.
I ran around ALL DAY. I farmed the kids out to playdates and went back to meet Andee in the gym at 1030 where we worked another hour on Stick disarms 1-6, Palgae 7, Triangle Leg Choke (my least favorite), Pommeling and the arm stuff that goes with it. Pretty successful morning really. The evening class consisted of the Jiu-jitsu techniques (wha?) arm bar, guillotine and triangle leg choke. Plus the defenses. Oy.
I engaged a masseuse to help me with my charlie horse problem. It's better, but still tight. Great for testing tomorrow.....Looking forward to an MMA free weekend. Until then, I am hitting the DVD and my card pretty hard. I will definitely need to dig into some synthetic energy source for tomorrow. Better living through chemistry.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
What goes down, must come UP
Today was better. I asked Andee if she wanted to test.
"Yes." was her reply.
Then I asked her, "No seriously. Do you really want to go? Because if you do, I will train all day every day to get you (and me) there, but it's probably going to suck for awhile and it's going to be hard, and we are going to get our teeth kicked in by a KJN pretty much every day, so if you are feeling it, I'm in, but if you are not sure then now is the time to kick that to the curb."
"Nope, I'm in."
"Done."
I had a private with KJN Jon this morning which was very productive. I worked on section 4 of the fighting system, again, and still got the kicks mixed up, again....Hopefully that's cleared up now. We worked on defense against the side mount and the ground headlock, ground control/flow drill and Palgae 7, which he cleaned up a lot. It was a great session. Then Andee came in and we worked fighting system....again. We're getting pretty good at the elbows! Ha! Still screwing up the kicks....I blazed home to two tired kids and we watched a movie. I am supplementing but my body is a mess. I just want to lay down and curl up into a ball. Yeah, it's only June. Gack. I got my second wind when we went to afternoon class. I told KJN Gary that Andee and I would be testing together in September. "We'll see." He said. "You've got a month!"
I said, "HA! Easy! Done." He laughed and said he took bribes. I'm pretty sure he was kidding. Anyway, I went to KJN Jon and told him we needed to turn up the heat. He's on board.
I feel better about the potential for Andee to be there. She works so hard and I know she can be ready more than I know I can be. My crucial issues are poor flexibility in my hip, a torn left meniscus in my left knee and an arthritic left shoulder. Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play? Andee and I finished Tough Mudder together last year. We have mutual friends on soccer teams and our husbands both travel for business. We are good together, and like KJN Jon said, "Us Mudders finish together."
CGN Lori said she'd help get us ready. I feel like we have a lot of support to go as a pair. Obviously, we have to earn it. So we are training together every extra minute. Tomorrow, we are meeting after KB to work more stuff. Right now, it's 4-5 hours a day.
Today, I did my kicking routine again. 25 each leg of Side kick, front kick, back kick and roundhouse on the bag with 5lb ankle weights. I did 200 wall kicks, 3 sets of 30 situps with a 12lb medicine ball on top of my 25 situps in class, 25 pushups, 10 triangle pushups and 30 burpees (15 in class and 15 at KB). I did a total of 30 pull-ups between KB and class. We worked passing guard most of the class ending with arm bar and triangle leg choke. I was knackered. Cumulative fatigue is already setting in and it's time to start evaluating priorities. Still doing fine on the diet. Fish tacos for dinner last night. Goat's Milk yogurt for breakfast. Lots of veggies in between. 3 liters of water: check. No coffee, no alcohol, no crack, no cigarettes, nada. My body is a temple. ha ha.
Went to the Dermatologist today. He removed three unwanted moles. Now I've got a hole in my arm. I'm hoping I don't get a nasty staff infection.
"Yes." was her reply.
Then I asked her, "No seriously. Do you really want to go? Because if you do, I will train all day every day to get you (and me) there, but it's probably going to suck for awhile and it's going to be hard, and we are going to get our teeth kicked in by a KJN pretty much every day, so if you are feeling it, I'm in, but if you are not sure then now is the time to kick that to the curb."
"Nope, I'm in."
"Done."
I had a private with KJN Jon this morning which was very productive. I worked on section 4 of the fighting system, again, and still got the kicks mixed up, again....Hopefully that's cleared up now. We worked on defense against the side mount and the ground headlock, ground control/flow drill and Palgae 7, which he cleaned up a lot. It was a great session. Then Andee came in and we worked fighting system....again. We're getting pretty good at the elbows! Ha! Still screwing up the kicks....I blazed home to two tired kids and we watched a movie. I am supplementing but my body is a mess. I just want to lay down and curl up into a ball. Yeah, it's only June. Gack. I got my second wind when we went to afternoon class. I told KJN Gary that Andee and I would be testing together in September. "We'll see." He said. "You've got a month!"
I said, "HA! Easy! Done." He laughed and said he took bribes. I'm pretty sure he was kidding. Anyway, I went to KJN Jon and told him we needed to turn up the heat. He's on board.
I feel better about the potential for Andee to be there. She works so hard and I know she can be ready more than I know I can be. My crucial issues are poor flexibility in my hip, a torn left meniscus in my left knee and an arthritic left shoulder. Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play? Andee and I finished Tough Mudder together last year. We have mutual friends on soccer teams and our husbands both travel for business. We are good together, and like KJN Jon said, "Us Mudders finish together."
CGN Lori said she'd help get us ready. I feel like we have a lot of support to go as a pair. Obviously, we have to earn it. So we are training together every extra minute. Tomorrow, we are meeting after KB to work more stuff. Right now, it's 4-5 hours a day.
Today, I did my kicking routine again. 25 each leg of Side kick, front kick, back kick and roundhouse on the bag with 5lb ankle weights. I did 200 wall kicks, 3 sets of 30 situps with a 12lb medicine ball on top of my 25 situps in class, 25 pushups, 10 triangle pushups and 30 burpees (15 in class and 15 at KB). I did a total of 30 pull-ups between KB and class. We worked passing guard most of the class ending with arm bar and triangle leg choke. I was knackered. Cumulative fatigue is already setting in and it's time to start evaluating priorities. Still doing fine on the diet. Fish tacos for dinner last night. Goat's Milk yogurt for breakfast. Lots of veggies in between. 3 liters of water: check. No coffee, no alcohol, no crack, no cigarettes, nada. My body is a temple. ha ha.
Went to the Dermatologist today. He removed three unwanted moles. Now I've got a hole in my arm. I'm hoping I don't get a nasty staff infection.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Bad Days Happen
What a crappy day. First, I found out that San Juan is not going to "let" Zoe play in the Independence Cup. Why? Because they are on break. I'm pretty sure I'm paying THEM. Until I've got a college scholarship or a shoe contract, I think I'm still her agent. Seriously? Who denies a 9 year old an opportunity to play...? Ugh. Marek is in New York which is about as far as he can be. The time change doesn't allow me any time to call and rant. I'm sure he's relieved but it leaves him out of the loop. I've got two friends battling cancer right now. The black belt test is scheduled on the day of Marek's best friend's wedding which means none of my family will be at my test. Then, today, KJN Gary teamed me up with Rachel to partner up, telling Andee that "We're not sure if she's going." This was a devastating blow to my fragile psyche. Andee and I have been working really well together. We nailed the last test together and her personality and laser focus are super compatible with my clumsy dog, beat-everybody- into-submission, MMA style. Needless to say, I was BUMMED. I even considered putting off until April. Why? Because I feel I can go hard with Andee and we bring out the best in each other. I know our KJN's can get us ready, and I want that Best Tester T-Shirt. I don't want to just squeak by to get my black belt. I want to nail it. Today, I saw disappointment in Andee's eyes and it brought me down because if there is any chance of her going, she is going to have to believe she can go and bring her A game everyday.
Today we also got our fitness prescription: 30 burpees, 50 push-ups, 50 sit-ups, and 50 Triangle Push-ups. Yesterday's workout almost killed me. Now that I know Tuesday's are long AND I gotta crank out all of the above, I'll be reworking my schedule. I went to KB this morning which is always fun and of course, KJN Jon made us do pull-ups for a grand total of 20 for the day. Add on 5lb ankle weights and that's a big day. I was so hungry when I got home, I made 2 scrambled eggs and put them on a gardenburger for max protein ingestion. It was just what my body needed. Still managing 3 liters of water each day. It's a little harder with rainy weather but soon, the rain will leave and we will be stuck with 100 degree heat. Anyway, I fell asleep and napped for two hours after eating. Before I knew it, it was time to wake up and go back to my 445 class which was extra long. We worked fighting system again and I worked with Rachel. It was not the same. I went home with my tail between my legs wondering how I was going to wait 10 more months. Ugh.
Today we also got our fitness prescription: 30 burpees, 50 push-ups, 50 sit-ups, and 50 Triangle Push-ups. Yesterday's workout almost killed me. Now that I know Tuesday's are long AND I gotta crank out all of the above, I'll be reworking my schedule. I went to KB this morning which is always fun and of course, KJN Jon made us do pull-ups for a grand total of 20 for the day. Add on 5lb ankle weights and that's a big day. I was so hungry when I got home, I made 2 scrambled eggs and put them on a gardenburger for max protein ingestion. It was just what my body needed. Still managing 3 liters of water each day. It's a little harder with rainy weather but soon, the rain will leave and we will be stuck with 100 degree heat. Anyway, I fell asleep and napped for two hours after eating. Before I knew it, it was time to wake up and go back to my 445 class which was extra long. We worked fighting system again and I worked with Rachel. It was not the same. I went home with my tail between my legs wondering how I was going to wait 10 more months. Ugh.
Monday, June 24, 2013
Rain
Blecch. Rain. So weird! In June? I am glad as we need the water but wow. Rain is weird this time of year. Today, I had a little more umph having taken two days off in a row, at least physically. There's always something to do whether it's studying the Life Skills stuff, watching the DVD, or stretching. Today, we found out that the date of the Black Belt Test is September 27-28th. That's six weeks sooner than originally planned. I'm thinking I can be ready. I know the material, but now it needs to be cleaned up and perfected. Not sure how far off base I am but I imagine pretty far. I'm working with KJN Jonathan to cover any material I might not know. Seems like I've at least seen it and done before. Half my curriculum I can't do at test speed yet. I was really looking forward to devoting June and July primarily to fitness and then delving into curriculum and diet stuff sometime in August. All of that has been moved up. I'm worried about Andee being able to go. She just made red belt last month. She's solid and learns fast and well. I know she can do it. I'm just hoping she wants to. It's going to be a pretty big challenge. I'm lamenting the extra time. My old body and chemo brain needs more time. Now I have to really double up which is not good news for already aching joints.
Diet just got moved up too. 3 months to drop 15lbs. Maybe easy. Maybe not. I'm a post-menopausal woman now. Hormones are working against me. Metabolism is at a standstill. Ugh. This may leave a mark. Egg whites and lettuce for three months. Woo hoo. Today, they were talking about "The Black Belt Diet." I have no idea what this is. I've been to class, but there's no layout as to what this diet really consists of. All I know is no fried foods and no sugar which is pretty much the post-cancer diet meaning I don't really have to change a thing except for my nightly chocolate square. I'm convinced that my chocolate square is the only thing left between a positive attitude and a stark-raving bitch. I don't have to live with me.....If this is the way of the peaceful warrior, I'll be surprised. However, it's the way, so I'm on board. However, I'm a little unclear as to whether fruit is not allowed (sugar rule). That may also be a stretch. For now, my diet consists of, 1 goat's milk yogurt ( I try to stay away from bovine products) for breakfast with blueberries and a teaspoon of honey. I snack on carrots, bell pepper slices and cucumbers. Lunch is usually a garden burger or turkey burger (no bun) and either sweet potato fries (baked not fried), Organic tomato soup, or a ginormous salad with everything tossed in basalmic vinegar and olive oil. Afternoon snack is an apple or an orange or a green smoothie which includes a slice of fresh pineapple, a slice of meyer's lemon, half a banana, half cup of green grapes, 3 cups of spinach and lots of ice. Dinner is a salad and some protein source. If I have to have a dessert, I have half of a banana with "Naturally More" brand peanut butter which has flax seed in it. If I'm super sweet tooth desperate, I'll throw the peanut butter, the banana and almond milk in the Vita-Mix with lots of ice and mmmmmm, heaven. Most of these food items are my go to foods. I'm usually rushing between soccer practice, MMA, or some social event so whatever I eat, usually has to be quick. It's easier to eat the same stuff most of the time then deviate on the weekends.
Curriculum seems to be going well. We finished up fighting system today. Still struggling with the kicking part of section 4 but I can work that out soon enough. KJN Gary informed me that I am testing Friday for my red/black. Seems like I just did....
I really hope Andee wants to go. She's going to have to want it to sign up for that kind of abuse.
Diet just got moved up too. 3 months to drop 15lbs. Maybe easy. Maybe not. I'm a post-menopausal woman now. Hormones are working against me. Metabolism is at a standstill. Ugh. This may leave a mark. Egg whites and lettuce for three months. Woo hoo. Today, they were talking about "The Black Belt Diet." I have no idea what this is. I've been to class, but there's no layout as to what this diet really consists of. All I know is no fried foods and no sugar which is pretty much the post-cancer diet meaning I don't really have to change a thing except for my nightly chocolate square. I'm convinced that my chocolate square is the only thing left between a positive attitude and a stark-raving bitch. I don't have to live with me.....If this is the way of the peaceful warrior, I'll be surprised. However, it's the way, so I'm on board. However, I'm a little unclear as to whether fruit is not allowed (sugar rule). That may also be a stretch. For now, my diet consists of, 1 goat's milk yogurt ( I try to stay away from bovine products) for breakfast with blueberries and a teaspoon of honey. I snack on carrots, bell pepper slices and cucumbers. Lunch is usually a garden burger or turkey burger (no bun) and either sweet potato fries (baked not fried), Organic tomato soup, or a ginormous salad with everything tossed in basalmic vinegar and olive oil. Afternoon snack is an apple or an orange or a green smoothie which includes a slice of fresh pineapple, a slice of meyer's lemon, half a banana, half cup of green grapes, 3 cups of spinach and lots of ice. Dinner is a salad and some protein source. If I have to have a dessert, I have half of a banana with "Naturally More" brand peanut butter which has flax seed in it. If I'm super sweet tooth desperate, I'll throw the peanut butter, the banana and almond milk in the Vita-Mix with lots of ice and mmmmmm, heaven. Most of these food items are my go to foods. I'm usually rushing between soccer practice, MMA, or some social event so whatever I eat, usually has to be quick. It's easier to eat the same stuff most of the time then deviate on the weekends.
Curriculum seems to be going well. We finished up fighting system today. Still struggling with the kicking part of section 4 but I can work that out soon enough. KJN Gary informed me that I am testing Friday for my red/black. Seems like I just did....
I really hope Andee wants to go. She's going to have to want it to sign up for that kind of abuse.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Weekends Off
Took the weekend off. If there's anything that will take me down between now and November, it's overtraining. I have a knack for pushing myself to metabolic overload and that's at 20-30 years old. Driving a 46 year-old train wreck means I have to be creative. More stretching (yawn), more sub maximal efforts of short duration multiple times per day, and more days off in a row. Today I climbed the 8-foot wall just to do something, but then, I put my feet up and chilled the rest of the weekend. I need more protein, more water, more sleep. By Friday, I feel my body teetering, on the brink of injury with a quince here and a tweak there. Sleep is restless and my appetite fluctuates. And speaking of appetite, I'm 15 lbs heavy. I am afraid to diet yet as I am confident that I can take off ten fairly easily but I burn out at the 8-10 week mark. This means that if I lose too much to early, I will tire of egg whites and lettuce and lose my drive. The hard part is this: We don't have a date yet, so it's hard to count back twelve weeks and say, "dropping weight starts here." Again, I have to be creative and guess.
Tough Mudder in three weeks. Working on stamina over the next two weeks, and lots of pull-ups. I'm up to four. 2 years ago, I could do ten. It's funny that I get excited over half that much now after mastectomy surgery etc. Cancer, and specifically, cancer treatment took a toll. It's still not clear to me how much of my old self I will get back and how much damage is permanent. For now, it seems that every day, I get better. Nutrition and sleep are crucial.
Sometimes, I feel incredibly selfish pursuing my black belt. It requires so much commitment all the while, I must be committed to my husband and my kids. I know there's balance in there somewhere. However, I don't just want my black belt. I want best tester. I want to be head and shoulders above which tips the scales of balance to committing more of myself and my time to my training. I know that pushing through will give my kids a great role model to follow. Meanwhile, Grandma has to drive them to soccer practice..... Catch-22.
Still wondering if I can master the tornado kick between now and November. How much flexibility can I gain? Repetition, repetition, repetition. Scrutiny, scrutiny, scrutiny.4 months of go, go, go. It's exciting and daunting at the same time. I've been here a hundred times. At 46, it's no easier than it was when I was 18. I have gained perspective and MAYBE a little more patience. With so much work to do. I just hope I get close to the performance I can be happy with. I don't just want a black belt. I want the zone. I want better.
Tough Mudder in three weeks. Working on stamina over the next two weeks, and lots of pull-ups. I'm up to four. 2 years ago, I could do ten. It's funny that I get excited over half that much now after mastectomy surgery etc. Cancer, and specifically, cancer treatment took a toll. It's still not clear to me how much of my old self I will get back and how much damage is permanent. For now, it seems that every day, I get better. Nutrition and sleep are crucial.
Sometimes, I feel incredibly selfish pursuing my black belt. It requires so much commitment all the while, I must be committed to my husband and my kids. I know there's balance in there somewhere. However, I don't just want my black belt. I want best tester. I want to be head and shoulders above which tips the scales of balance to committing more of myself and my time to my training. I know that pushing through will give my kids a great role model to follow. Meanwhile, Grandma has to drive them to soccer practice..... Catch-22.
Still wondering if I can master the tornado kick between now and November. How much flexibility can I gain? Repetition, repetition, repetition. Scrutiny, scrutiny, scrutiny.4 months of go, go, go. It's exciting and daunting at the same time. I've been here a hundred times. At 46, it's no easier than it was when I was 18. I have gained perspective and MAYBE a little more patience. With so much work to do. I just hope I get close to the performance I can be happy with. I don't just want a black belt. I want the zone. I want better.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Work, Rest, Recover
...And so it goes. Black belt training is in full swing. Last week, I hit it hard, running 2 miles (and I mean RUNNING, not jogging, not pacing, not striding), doing Kickboxing (KB) twice a week, private lessons with KJN Jonathan twice on top of my regular 3 classes per week schedule, and all wearing ankle weights. I neglected my core and that is obvious this week. I also skated on push-ups, fearful of another shoulder injury. However, I did my 100 roundhouse kicks per day with 4 days of 200 and 300. By Friday, I was knackered. Z & S had a soccer tournament all weekend starting Friday which meant early mornings to get to Roseville and long, hot days in the sun. With no rest for the weary, Monday came fast and hard and I felt my body rebelling. As I strapped on my ankle weights and got ready to work out, I realized that metabolically, I didn't have it and pushing myself would only dig me a great big hole. Plus, I had the added bonus of another early morning due to Volleyball camp and Goalie training, both starting at 9AM. After dropping off both kids, I had grand plans to run and lunge and sit up and push up but my heart was not in it. I bagged it. I went home and took a 30 minute power nap. It felt so good. I could have slept for a week. However, a mother's job is never done, so it was back in the car for pick ups, lunch and then soccer practice for S at 5 and Z at 6. I skipped Monday MMA too. Slacker! I felt guilty, but I also know that I have six months of rough training ahead and if I don't listen to my body, I will end up hating MMA, hating my body, and burnt to a crisp.
Tuesday, I woke up ready for KB. Still feeling a bit sluggish, I strapped on those ankle weights and got myself to class. It took a long time to warm up, but once I was up and running, I actually felt a little better. KB is always fun, always motivating and I always walk away with a sense of accomplishment. Andee and I did a private afterwards and worked on fighting system. I'm feeling pretty good about it so far although my take-downs still suck and section 4 (defense against kickboxing pattern) is rocky at best. Luckily, Andee is just learning it so we can go slow. KJN made us go silly fast. Sure enough, I baubled at hooks (no switch roundhouse) and uppercuts (left, left, right right). Still, by the end of our session, we had it nailed pretty well.
Apparently, there is a candidate class Tuesday at 445 that goes until 615. Unbeknownst to me, I showed up for regular red belt class at 530 only to find I had missed a crucial 45 minutes of class. Um, sorry sir, didn't get the email. Oh well. The long and the short of it is I have to be there 5 days a week at 445. Gack. I got two kids in competitive soccer, a traveling husband and a house that is constantly screaming for attention with the loudest of it coming from the laundry room. 5 days? No way. I can train 5 days, but getting to class at the peak hour of mothering is going to be just a bit tricky. As long as I am nailing my curriculum, I'm hoping 3 days will suffice, with two days of home training. We shall see if that works out. Pre-testing is next week. It's go time.
Today, was super fun. Again, run down by the early mornings of getting the kids off to their respective camps, I was wondering how much umph I would have to put into KB. KB was so fun. We did lots of back kicks, some sparring (jab, overhand and roundhouse only) and then got to beat the heck out of the bag. I did 16 pull-ups today, 200 roundhouse kicks, 25 each leg of side kick, front kick and back kick on the bag in my garage, 100 situps with a 10lb medicine ball plus, I got to class. KJN Jonathan was awesome. We worked section 4 of the Kickboxing pattern. It's already better. Tomorrow, I get to sleep in for the first time in two weeks.
I look at myself these days and I see myself getting stronger. I feel healthier and I am relatively happy. I have not restricted my eating because I know that dieting longer than 3 months is not only not good for me but I usually end up plateauing and getting discouraged. I'm not going to get sucked in. I'm 12lbs heavy right now and that's good for training. What bothers me most about my body right now is the dimpling of my skin where I am atrophied. My legs, my butt and my stomach are all pretty gross but I feel good and strong so I'm not going to let myself get sucked into feeling disdainful about my appearance. It is what it is and as a post-menopausal female, it's going to be tough. The weight will not come off as easily and I will carry more in my mid-section. More core, more core, more core.
I'm excited to be on this path. It has purpose and meaning and I am enjoying the coaching and the training. I know I will be just fine at my BB Test but I want to win the whole thing. I want that Best Tester designation and I want there to be no doubt. I'm hoping to work out Friday and Saturday and not stall out like last weekend. Mondays come hard and fast....
Tuesday, I woke up ready for KB. Still feeling a bit sluggish, I strapped on those ankle weights and got myself to class. It took a long time to warm up, but once I was up and running, I actually felt a little better. KB is always fun, always motivating and I always walk away with a sense of accomplishment. Andee and I did a private afterwards and worked on fighting system. I'm feeling pretty good about it so far although my take-downs still suck and section 4 (defense against kickboxing pattern) is rocky at best. Luckily, Andee is just learning it so we can go slow. KJN made us go silly fast. Sure enough, I baubled at hooks (no switch roundhouse) and uppercuts (left, left, right right). Still, by the end of our session, we had it nailed pretty well.
Apparently, there is a candidate class Tuesday at 445 that goes until 615. Unbeknownst to me, I showed up for regular red belt class at 530 only to find I had missed a crucial 45 minutes of class. Um, sorry sir, didn't get the email. Oh well. The long and the short of it is I have to be there 5 days a week at 445. Gack. I got two kids in competitive soccer, a traveling husband and a house that is constantly screaming for attention with the loudest of it coming from the laundry room. 5 days? No way. I can train 5 days, but getting to class at the peak hour of mothering is going to be just a bit tricky. As long as I am nailing my curriculum, I'm hoping 3 days will suffice, with two days of home training. We shall see if that works out. Pre-testing is next week. It's go time.
Today, was super fun. Again, run down by the early mornings of getting the kids off to their respective camps, I was wondering how much umph I would have to put into KB. KB was so fun. We did lots of back kicks, some sparring (jab, overhand and roundhouse only) and then got to beat the heck out of the bag. I did 16 pull-ups today, 200 roundhouse kicks, 25 each leg of side kick, front kick and back kick on the bag in my garage, 100 situps with a 10lb medicine ball plus, I got to class. KJN Jonathan was awesome. We worked section 4 of the Kickboxing pattern. It's already better. Tomorrow, I get to sleep in for the first time in two weeks.
I look at myself these days and I see myself getting stronger. I feel healthier and I am relatively happy. I have not restricted my eating because I know that dieting longer than 3 months is not only not good for me but I usually end up plateauing and getting discouraged. I'm not going to get sucked in. I'm 12lbs heavy right now and that's good for training. What bothers me most about my body right now is the dimpling of my skin where I am atrophied. My legs, my butt and my stomach are all pretty gross but I feel good and strong so I'm not going to let myself get sucked into feeling disdainful about my appearance. It is what it is and as a post-menopausal female, it's going to be tough. The weight will not come off as easily and I will carry more in my mid-section. More core, more core, more core.
I'm excited to be on this path. It has purpose and meaning and I am enjoying the coaching and the training. I know I will be just fine at my BB Test but I want to win the whole thing. I want that Best Tester designation and I want there to be no doubt. I'm hoping to work out Friday and Saturday and not stall out like last weekend. Mondays come hard and fast....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)