Weekends Off

Took the weekend off. If there's anything that will take me down between now and November, it's overtraining. I have a knack for pushing myself to metabolic overload and that's at 20-30 years old. Driving a 46 year-old train wreck means I have to be creative. More stretching (yawn), more sub maximal efforts of short duration multiple times per day, and more days off in a row. Today I climbed the 8-foot wall just to do something, but then, I put my feet up and chilled the rest of the weekend. I need more protein, more water, more sleep. By Friday, I feel my body teetering, on the brink of injury with a quince here and a tweak there. Sleep is restless and my appetite fluctuates. And speaking of appetite, I'm 15 lbs heavy. I am afraid to diet yet as I am confident that I can take off ten fairly easily but I burn out at the 8-10 week mark. This means that if I lose too much to early, I will tire of egg whites and lettuce and lose my drive. The hard part is this: We don't have a date yet, so it's hard to count back twelve weeks and say, "dropping weight starts here." Again, I have to be creative and guess.
Tough Mudder in three weeks. Working on stamina over the next two weeks, and lots of pull-ups. I'm up to four. 2 years ago, I could do ten. It's funny that I get excited over half that much now after mastectomy surgery etc. Cancer, and specifically, cancer treatment took a toll. It's still not clear to me how much of my old self I will get back and how much damage is permanent. For now, it seems that every day, I get better. Nutrition and sleep are crucial.
Sometimes, I feel incredibly selfish pursuing my black belt. It requires so much commitment all the while, I must be committed to my husband and my kids. I know there's balance in there somewhere. However, I don't just want my black belt. I want best tester. I want to be head and shoulders above which tips the scales of balance to committing more of myself and my time to my training. I know that pushing through will give my kids a great role model to follow. Meanwhile, Grandma has to drive them to soccer practice..... Catch-22.
Still wondering if I can master the tornado kick between now and November. How much flexibility can I gain? Repetition, repetition, repetition. Scrutiny, scrutiny, scrutiny.4 months of go, go, go. It's exciting and daunting at the same time. I've been here a hundred times. At 46, it's no easier than it was when I was 18. I have gained perspective and MAYBE a little more patience. With so much work to do. I just hope I get close to the performance I can be happy with. I don't just want a black belt. I want the zone. I want better.